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BMW X5M 50d
WARP SPEED, CAPTAIN!
Words by Alessandro Marrone
Photos by Jay Tomei
Come on, this is becoming wicked. This damned torque – and I say damned because it puts at serious risk my driving license – acts as the famous “Warp Speed” of the USS Enterprise in Star Trek. The moment I press the throttle, the gearbox/engine marriage does the rest, helped by three turbos and a torque curve that reaches its peak at low revs, while then, going up in the rev counter scale, the 381hp keep pressing your back to the seat, throwing away all preconceptions and prejudices about the latest generation diesel engines. BMW has really done well their homework, and getting me out of this X5M 50d, it is going to be a really hard job. I said that a few months ago, but this time there is much more.
Not much time has passed since my test with the M550d Touring, that our friend Gabriele Giusto from Dream Car Savona calls me telling me that he has a special treat with a capital M printed on it, ready for a serious drive. It is therefore the same 3.0-liter engine doped by three turbos and able to deliver almost 400hp, but there is more weight and more height from the ground, given that this time it has to do with the X5. I know what to expect: torque, power, the classic drive feeling that characterizes all the good Bavarian’s cars, but with a more sporty look, since it is still something that officially shows off the “M” badges. I was wrong. By far. Maybe you are wondering how it can differ so much compared to the Touring cousin, but I can assure that it’s like talking about two completely different cars, despite having in common much more than this amazing engine. I am dealing with the new generation X5, lighter, despite being bigger and more spacious inside, equipped with every imaginable comfort and with a menacing look that exudes the deepest desire to warm up its tires, thanks to a spot-on black on black spec. Upgrades barely visible at a less attentive eye, but well detectable as soon as you climb on board and close the door, letting out a world that do not even know what you could unleash at the wheel of this wolf with a goat’s dress. Well, a lamb would be too harmless, and the sportiness that the imposing image of this X5M exudes is definitely intimidating – we’re only missing a couple of sharp horns. However, since after all it is an alternative that gives a nod to the usability in your everyday life, few cars are so damn great in doing whatever you ask, especially going from point to point, devouring hundreds of kilometers at shameful speed – enjoying the faces of your friends when you can skip the traditional fuel stops, thanks to its impressively good fuel consumption (6.6 l/100 km). Here, as in the case of the M550d Touring, the X5M 50d is an excellent cruiser that will not become friend with the gas station, and as far as its crucial point, that goal that the BMW guys have carefully studied for so long, suspended in a limbo that can make this one the one and only car in your garage. Holy Trinity comes to mind! And I do not want to disturb no saints (or false gods, cit.), but browsing through the brochure that describes our typical week, made of home-to-work trips, some three lanes road (someone said Autobahn, or simply motorway?) and of that drawer, left at the bottom of our lives – and that began to gather dust, maybe since a mini-you has arrived – better distinguishable as the desire for speed, the desire to hold a steering wheel in your hands and point a corner with your eyes eager for more, and not merely on roads almost repeated mechanically, now part of a relentless routine.
Can we fall in love with an SUV, a diesel SUV? Perhaps it would be a bit strange, so let me explain better, and without half measures that this SUV is something crazy! Once you start the engine, cocooned by a perfect blend of sportiness, luxury and latest technology, you wrap your hands on the thick and soft crown of the three-spoke sports steering wheel. Put in Drive and select the sportiest mode, pounding heavily on the gas pedal and start to see every moment spent at the wheel, as something different. They should write “Fire” on the throttle, because the moment you push that, Warp Speed comes into play and you start thinking to be at the wheel of a V8 M5. Here we have a few pounds more than the 5 Series Touring model, but the higher ground clearance transmits much more speed (5.3 seconds from 0 to 100), and while the horizon is getting closer and blurred, you come to ask you where we’ll never ending, in this world of turbo working in unison, playing better than the London Symphony Orchestra. You don’t have brass or strings here, but a wall of electric guitars that play heavy metal and you are driving the most classic ride in perfect Iron Maiden style. No one can stop you. But it would be foolish to think that BMW has created this car for a pure performance speech, after all, for that you get the petrol X5M (or the X6M) – in this case, it’s something wider, for a slice of the market (more extensive and concrete) that need to grind more kilometers, carrying several bags and so on, on a daily basis. But I challenge you to think about the split tailgate, the large cargo area or the rear habitability, when you are dealing with a bomb like that. Let’s talk about accessories for a minute? Infotainment is almost perfect, the 10 inches and plus display has an exceptional resolution and the satellite navigation is intuitive and highly precise, another rarity on stock systems. Ditto for the sound system, which can easily compensate the lack of a soundtrack, unfortunately not in line with such performance. And then … and then it brakes how God commands! I know, I went back talking about how spectacular it attacks corners as if it were an E46 M3, instead of a pachyderm weighing over two tons, but hey, those “M” have not been put there by chance.
Always rewarding, never boring, but you end up using it as a sports car and at that point you realize that you are bringing with you a row of seats more, a trunk convenient to put your mother-in-law in it and too many centimeters from the ground, that will tighten your buttocks when you enter a corner at track day speed. The wide tread of the tires guarantees extreme safety at high speed and on wet surfaces, as it becomes, as well as the reduced shoulder, a handicap to keep in mind if you wish to venture in a terrain that is more hazardous than the supermarket parking lot. It could still get you out of some muddy road, but would you really need that? I do not think so, or if you do, it’s because you have not yet realized that this SUV would be better through some curbs, rather than crossing some pebbles. That said, my only need here is to drive, drive … and still drive, not realizing that I got stuck in a contradiction comparable with a fried chips diet. This was not the way to understand the goodness of this threeturbodiesel M, right?! It matters little, since reminds me of a situation that makes you throw all the cards in the air, in a logical disorder, understandable only with cold blood. Apart from this alleged ideal use, the X5M 50d has made an incredible mission to satisfy all of my five senses, first through a canonical but refined look, way better than the previous or the standard model. Second, it is able to offer the most varied possibilities in many different contexts, and third but not least, if you want to have fun as you would never thought possible with a car of this size, here it is. Make sure you have no baby on board, and your wife is not at the window – start the engine, sink the throttle and repeat. 740Nm of torque will always be a convincing answer to all your questions.
BMW X5M 50d (2014-)
Layout – front-engined, all-wheel-drive
Engine – 6 cylinder 2933cc – tri-turbo
Transmission – 8-speed automatic gearbox
Power – 381 hp @ 4000-4400 rpm
740 Nm @ 2000-3000 rpm
Weight – 2190 kg
Acceleration – 5,3 sec.
Top Speed – 249 kph (limit.)
Price – from 93.000 €
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