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Mercedes G500 4X4² – Roads? We Don’t Need Roads
MERCEDES G500 4X4²
SQUARED
Words and photos by Alessandro Marrone
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”- The good old Doc Emmett Brown (no, not my relative!) from Back to the Future would have answered like this. And to be honest the mistreated DeLorean would be left far behind by the perfect mix of genius and madness of the Mercedes-Benz G500 4X4². Based on the even more exaggerated 6X6, but with an axle and two wheels less, I find myself facing one of the three most useless cars in the world, but that in some strange way manages to be a real obsession and absurd desire, even for the performance nerds. After a few months the nuisance of the G500 4X4² has again crept into my head and luckily I had the chance to spend some time with this mastodon thanks to my friend Raul at RM Autosport, well-known supercars collector and dealer based in the Principality of Monaco.
I could no longer escape from it, I felt the physical need to find myself next to this beast that in the face of global downsizing has defied extinction and won, crushing even that overseas pseudo competition identifiable, at least in part, with the Hummer which however is absolutely not able to guarantee the same off-road capabilities and can’t get even closer while on road, not to mention the extra point given by the fact of having the three-pointed star flapped in the middle of that grid with three horizontal profiles, now an authentic symbol of war and ready to annihilate traffic in squash mode. Fortunately, there are still people who are crazy enough to work until late at the office, thinking about offering to the world something unexpected, and that through some twisted reason has entered the common collective as a toy for the rich that also fits the desires of those like me who cannot absolutely afford it. And then we know it, the more these toys are expensive and unnecessary and the more they dig a road into our brain, leaving criteria mix-matches and common sense apart. So we find ourselves trying to sell the house, because as a matter of facts, thanks to the generous size of the cabin here, we would have our new accommodation and enough space to bring the dog with us. Yep, the approximately € 230,000 needed to buy a brand new one have significantly decreased for the models that have traveled a lot of kilometers but climbed for those specced without budget problems, or maybe passed under the hands of some tuner, such as Brabus or Mansory.
Never like in this case a car just come off from the factory is already damned good, like we would have imagined it for us: black body, privacy glasses and those huge 22 inches wheels that try in every way not to get lost in the infinite space that is created under the chassis, here with 24cm of extra height compared to a traditional G-Class. Like the first time you look at an elephant up close and you wonder how it is possible that there is something so big, with the difference that instead of eating leaves and plants, the G500 4X4² swallows petrol as if you were pouring it directly into a water well. Prepare to cry, because maintaining a better fuel consumption than 5 km/l will be a very difficult task and stops at the fuel station will be as frequent as those by your divorce lawyer, since after selling the house, your wife has become your former-wife. But who cares, at least today we do not want to think about consequences, so we focus on avoiding those narrow roads that would force us to proceed meter by meter, trying not to devastate the local traffic, literally astounded as soon as we turn ‘round the corner with this 3-ton beast.
The G4X4 comes with one engine only and it’s a 3.9-liter V8 supercharged with two turbos and combined with a 7-speed automatic transmission. Although 422 horses are a notable number and discharge to the ground the likes of 610Nm of torque, the weight is so much and the typical aerodynamic drag of any G-Class certainly does not facilitate performance. Despite this, the hyper-G does not give a damn and once burned at least €20 for going from zero to 70/80 kph, it pushes well emitting that unmistakable baritone melody typical of every Mercedes V8 from the double side exhaust. Helping to manage properly the car body there are two springs and two shock absorbers per wheel, which not only have the mission of working hard when we leave the asphalt roads, but above all they have to live up to the price and expectations of its customers when dealing with on road abilities. Then, the G maintains the innate qualities that has been going on for 40 years, combining a minimalist exterior design with an updated cockpit and full of everything you would like to find, including a lot of carbon fiber. I think the main problem of this “car” is to climb into it, even though I may have had more difficulty coming down, especially when you have no chance to open the door properly or even worse you forget to be seated hundreds of feet from the ground. The passengers at the back will be comfortable once inside, but due to the reduced opening of the doors and the small portion of platform available, they will hate you every time you’ll ask ‘em to go down. For the rest we have a great infotainment system connected to the screen located on the top of the dashboard, while below it we find the many commands for air conditioning, radio and for locking the differentials, which are three. I forgot to tell you that the powertrain, like for the Unimog, provides portal axles and therefore perfect even for the most extreme off-road conditions.
One of the most unique driving experiences continues and while it is easy to notice how the fuel indicator drops down, I can’t decide if this G is more fun on the road or once away from the tarmac. What is certain is that making its V8 sing and driving with the windows down is a must, after all we are still talking about an object designed to entertain, even before to serve for something specific. The 4X4² is also so beautiful to look at that you’ll find yourself taking thousands of pictures, no matter the landscape around. In the end, nature always has the best and even if I still can’t understand how it is possible to be infatuated up to these points by an object, we come back on paved roads and decide to put an end on our petrol reserve once and for all. Accompanied by the noise of the 422 horses and the wind that opposes the almost vertical windscreen of the G, we dart along the streets above Monaco, those that lead to La Turbie and then to Eze, with rocks on one side and an impressive sea view on the other. The windows stay down and even if the air is pungent you can breathe that scent of freedom, enjoying the frivolity that only certain cars are able to transmit. You would never think to find so much fun and a great desire to drive looking into the world of off-roader, at least not in the classic sense of the term, but probably in the course of its illustrious history, Mercedes must have made some pact with the devil. Or more simply must have hired their personal Emmett Brown and have traveled over time, discovering that even if big engines like these are disappearing, all we needed was something completely useless, but damn necessary to tear us a smile. I love this car and the fact that in forty years has changed so little, it will only make it a fixed nail for a long, long time.
A special thanks goes to our friend Raul at RM Autosport who made this exclusive drive possible.
MERCEDES G500 4X4²
Layout – front-engined, all-wheel-drive
Engine – V8 cylinder 3.982cc – twin-turbo
Transmission – 7-speed automatic gearbox
Power – 422 hp @ 5.250-5.500 rpm
610 Nm @ 2.000-4.750 rpm
Weight – 2.946 kg
Acceleration – 7,4 sec.
Top Speed – 209 kph
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