The new Clubman John Cooper Works is one of the best ways to give yourself a little present every day. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it. Whether it’s a cup of good hot black coffee, another slice of pie, or a curvy road that asks for nothing more than enjoying the exhaust crackling, make it happen.
Words by Alessandro Marrone / Photos by Jay Tomei
“Diane, it’s 7:40 in the morning, Wednesday to be precise. By now I can see the tops of the trees rising beyond the field of view offered to me by the large windshield, it is incredible to think how many decades they have waited to allow themselves to depart their branches so much from the ground, almost as in an escape for freedom offered by the blue sky above us”. Sometimes, the best way to live and make an experience great is to let yourself be carried away by every single detail that outlines its shapes, sounds and smells. There is something extremely personal about what is about to happen and I asked myself for a long time if maybe it would not have been too much for a car magazine, in fact the last thing I would is to turn what in all respects is the review of my weeks with the new Mini Clubman JCW into some sort of travel diary that goes into the darkest mysticism that crosses the threshold of the real world to delve into that of Hollywood fiction, that of the psychedelic universe created by David Lynch with his legendary Twin Peaks series.
It was like an unexpected shock that started from the spine and went up to my brain. Seeing those trees, that deserted road, noticing how the mind was running on its own making almost appear indistinct figures where the vegetation is getting thicker, all accentuated by the fact that finally this is the return to normal life, after those endless quarantine weeks that tried in every way to make us forget what it tasted like moving without a specific destination. From that apparently insignificant and imperceptible moment, it has been a continuous succession of coincidences, probably dictated by the fact that we have been attracted here by an almost unknown force and that materialized openly when we heard the comments of some people mentioning an exquisite cherry pie. If there are no coincidences in Twin Peaks, it is no surprise that every Mini arouses deep interest in me and with this I do not want to justify the fact that I have owned more than a couple of them, but rather emphasizing how it manages to maintain its exceptional ability to represent a way of being, a lifestyle, still after 60 long years from its first inception.
The Clubman has just been updated and refreshes the massive lines of the generation introduced about three years ago, but the special concept for family goes hand in hand with that of sportiness, since I am behind the wheel of the fastest John Cooper Works version ever made. The satellite navigator of the excellent BMW multimedia system has done an excellent job, but from now on we have to rely only on our sense of direction and on the few road signs that I hope will bring us to our destination in time for lunch, in order to respond to the continuous call of our stomach, which has not rested since hearing the words “cherry pie”. The road is clear and despite its distance from the nearest inhabited center, the asphalt itself is in perfect condition, what better tonic for the mind can ever persuade me to select the sharpest among the three driving modes available (Mid, Eco and of course Sport). The change put in place through a more prompt response of the throttle and an even more effective precision from the steering is immediately perceptible, which allows you in perfect Mini style to brush the corners, also helped by the fact of fitting generous 19 inches wheels. The gearbox is an 8-speed automatic, a torque converter capable of limiting fuel consumption and traveling in the lower part of the rev counter, but just as quick and precise when you want to take advantage of the paddles at the wheel and exploit the incredible power delivered by the 2-liter turbo placed under the unmistakable and curvy hood featuring its air intake in the middle of the bonnet stripes that recall the color of the roof, mirrors and other stylistic details that embellish our top of the range version.
If in fact we learned to understand that the Mini have generous dimensions good enough to carry family and friends, what we would not have expected was to find a turbocharged 4-cylinder with 306 horsepower (the same as the M135i, ed), capable of making the grown-up Clubman, already unique in its kind, something desirable for those who cannot give up making use of a hatchback and join it together with authentic sports cars performance figures. Like a damn good cup of hot coffee, the JCW soul manages to express itself without hesitation through the All4 all-wheel drive transmission, while the precision of the steering and a wheelbase that ultimately does not distort the handling of the car between bends, keep the iconic go-kart feeling so dear to Mini well imprinted in mind. You really feel the turbocharger then, the 450 Nm of torque available almost immediately move the over 1,600 kg of weight of the only 6-door in the world and we, stealthy like owls flying in the dead of night, find ourselves several kilometers inside the Twin Peaks forest.
To intersperse the most spirited driving moments, made even sharper thanks to a chassis stiff enough not to break down the Clubman despite a more generous size than that of the more traditional counterpart, I am pleased to note that certain things should not complain about their own evolution, but rejoice for embracing new forms, while keeping intact the philosophy that blessed them as status symbols at the time, 60 years ago for the Mini, 30 for the Lynch’s world that changed TV forever. Agent Dale Cooper – and not John Cooper (another coincidence? I don’t think so) would appreciate such a car: with a particular look that knows how to adapt to city life, as to the more rural one of a remote town on the edge of the woods, not to forget the practicality of the two refrigerator-like doors that give access to a large load compartment at the back. The rear seats are finally suitable for three adult passengers, but in the end you will want to sit in front, possibly in the driver’s seat, where we find a familiar environment refined by the touches of the JCW version, not to mention the particular mixed Alcantara-like fabric that makes the front seats with integrated headrests, sporty but also comfortable over long distances.
With an all-wheel drive that takes just 4.9 seconds to move from 0 to 100 kph, devouring these pristine roads is a child’s game, but having a few extra centimeters off the ground, at the same time allows us to move easily even when we have to abandon the asphalt and travel the last kilometers pointing to our destination, a seemingly lost café in the middle of nowhere. The Mini takes care of everything, like an agent of a higher grade than ours, seems to dispense advices and transmit to the driver those inputs necessary to change the driving style, offering that constant feeling of something very familiar, something you feel yours from the very first moment and that you already know that you will miss it terribly once you’ll have to return the keys to the press office. With a price tag of around € 44,000, which is almost double the price of the entry level Clubman, the John Cooper Works version really deserves a separate argument which I do not intend to simplistically dismiss with something like “it is double the price, but offers twice as much”. The JCW is a different kind, it is the pragmatic representation of a car that lives up to its 60 years old philosophy, exuding a unique attitude in the automotive panorama, all thanks to the fact that it has updated the supernatural image that it has thrown in the world and that has frozen time as only the complete and deafening silence of a forest is able to do.
These are things you cannot plan and even if the business meetings of the Mini men (BMW) are undoubtedly different from those that allowed the first Mini to see the light over half a century ago, being a sports car we will always rely on strong emotions, to those dreams that can drive us towards a positive or negative judgment, aware that once we have embarked on our path towards the much-desired cherry pie, we will not avoid the possibility to turn for the longest and more twisty road, leaving us amazed by how much what until moments ago was considered the ugly duckling by some fools ever-scarred by less obvious changes, has become a majestic specimen that makes damned sense if you want to experience 365 spotless days a year. This is undoubtedly a different choice than usual, love it or hate it, the best choice you could make to satisfy the needs of your family, without giving up the more youthful spirit hidden deep in your soul. What is certain is that once you get in confidence with it, it will be difficult to find a good reason to go back to where you came from, especially while you look at it from the large windows of a place lost in the wilderness, with a fantastic slice of cherry pie cheering up a truly rewarding driving experience. The new Clubman John Cooper Works, just to mention the other Cooper – the FBI agent – is one of the best ways to give yourself a little present every day. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it. Whether it’s a cup of good hot black coffee, another slice of pie, or a curvy road that asks for nothing more than enjoying the exhaust crackling, make it happen. It is the best way to live better in a world that seems to have gone beyond that limit of rationality that until now was deceiving we could not expect anything worse than television fiction. Such a car can keep us sane, having fun like crazy.
* If you have never watched Twin Peaks, go for it as soon as possible.
MINI CLUBMAN JOHN COOPER WORKS
Layout – front-engined, all-wheel-drive
Engine – 4 cylinder 1.998cc – turbo
Transmission – 8-speed automatic gearbox
Power – 306 hp @ 5.000-6.250 rpm
450 Nm @ 1.750-4.500 rpm
Weight – 1.625 kg
Acceleration – 4,9 sec.
Top Speed – 250 kph
Price – from € 44.100